Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

Originally, we were going to refrain from reviewing Harry Potter the Seventh. But then we began to feel so very, very left out. So here it goes: Harry Potter is a character that many of us have grown up with. We wanted his final story to end spectacularly. Alas, it was not to be. I suppose that Rowling, being richer than the queen and knowing that her legions of loyal readers would buy the book no matter what, decided that she could cop out on the final volume. This is incredibly sad. I wanted to like the book. Truly I did. But somehow, it didn't work.

I was actually racing with one of my cousins (of the non-evil sort) to finish the book (I won, of course), so I didn't realise how disappointed I was until I gave it some thought. And there it was, the awful truth: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows is a creature of deathly boredom.

And OH! The epilogue. Of all the things that could have gone wrong, this was the worst. How could she make everything so...perfect? I shall refrain from saying anything more on the subject, for fear of being hunted down and butchered by a vengeful not-yet-finished reader.

Despite the fact that this Deathly Boredom was so...well, deathly, I feel that I must give it no less than three out of five daggers. Just because I grew up with the series. And the first three books were totally made of awesome.

--Avery Trelaine

Aislinn says,

So, unlike Avery, I am going to assume that everyone reading this had read Harry Potter and the Deathly Boredom, er, that is, Hallows.

SPOILER ALERT!! If you are one of the, like, four people who haven't yet finished, don't read this . . .

I'm going to do this by character, because... because because.

Harry-- Our dear main character was as much of an annoying angst-ridden idiot as always. Only this time, he was an annoying, angst-ridden idiot who was also Jesus. And has anyone else noticed that he's not that good at magic? No, seriously. I mean, who in their right mind would make him head of the auror department? (This is what he goes on to do-- JKR said so.) I was so depressed that he didn't die.

Ron-- Went from being kind of a pathetic loser to being entirely a pathetic loser.

Hermione-- Lost all her awesome. No, really. She went from being all "Get out of my way or I'll turn you into a moose" to "Oh, Ron, you're soooo clever! And also, I'm suddenly not nearly as competent a witch as I used to be!"

Ginny-- If Harry Potter dumped me 'for my safety,' I would most certainly not just sit around and wait for him to come back to me. Then again, I wouldn't date Harry Potter in the first place. Also, JKR tells us that Ginny became a professional Quiddich player, but then left her job when she married Harry. No, Ginny! No! Don't let patriarcial society keep you down! BREAK THE GLASS CEILING!!

Malfoy-- Most certainly did not live up to his potential. He could have been so awesome, but instead, he was just a whiney, incompetent loser. I would also like to take this opportunity to note that if Draco had, in fact, fufilled his potential for awesome, he and Ginny would have made a great couple. (Hey, don't look at me like that. It's true.)

Dumbledore-- The Headmaster was dead, yes. But he was in the book more than any other, except perhaps the sixth. I think JKR simply couldn't fathom writing a Harry Potter book without Dumbledore.

THE DEATHSTICK-- Yes, it's a wand, but it really deserves its own character listing. It had so much personality. And also, it's called the deathstick. And Voldy always said "Deathstick" last, like: "It is mine! The Elder Wand! The Wand Of Destiny! THE DEATHSTICK!!!"*. At which point I always burst into a fit of hysterical laughter (no matter how serious the situation was supposed to be).

*This is not an actual quote from Deathly Hallows. But it's pretty darn close.

Dissapointedly, cynically, thanking-God-it's-over,

Note: We know that this post is seeming to be spreading the HP hate. But really, we love it as much as all you crazy fangirls. Okay, maybe not quite as much. As in, we don't write any Dramione fanfiction. Or any fanfiction, for that matter.
But still. We love Harry Potter. We just hide it really, really well.

Twyla says:

Now for my opion of this wonderfulness. Well, I thought it was ok. I wasnt thrilled with it but there were certain parts I liked. It was pretty, ok very predictable. Especially the ending. The very very end, 19 years later, it was waaay to perfect and like *sigh* aw, how sweet. Lets all go to bed and have sweet dreams because everyone lived happily ever after. After all of what Harry went though, wouldn't he have some emotional drawbacks he needed to work on? Or insane fans he had to outrun?

After saying that, I give Deathly Hallows a 3.5 daggers out of 5.

--Twyla Lee


Bri said...

ok so, ive only ever read the 4th harry potter book, but i heard that JKR had intended originally on killing off harry at the end so that no one could write other books about him. happy endings are good but that is an evil epilogue. its like putting "and they lived happily ever after" or "the end" at the end of your book and that is a HORRIBLE way to end anything. everyone knows that. the ending should give you something to think about other than "wow that sucked". but then again, who am i to judge. ive never even read the darn thing (and quite honestly i dont intend to. sorry harry fans. i just luv scott-la more. heh heh)

readergirl said...

HARSH! lol Well I totally understand where you're all comming form but I really liked the books? Of course I was never an obbsessed person who read them over and over again like Twiliht, nNew Moon, or Eclipse so I guess if I had been I may have notised more but I thought she wrapped it up greatly though I do wish we'd had a little more romance as I am a hopless romantic....XD

Amy-la said...

I loved the 7th Harry Potter book, except the ending. Come on, Voldy rocks!

Aaron said...

Not harsh enough. Don't let the horrors of book seven skate by just because you grew up with the others, or because the first three were good. (I'd have said first four, myself.) In fact, those other factors should conspire to make your judgements HARSHER. The most I'd give this book is one dagger, and that one only so it could go commit seppuku.

The Baron Aaros of Ahnduron

ellie_enchanted said...

Huh. I can see where you're coming from, but as a super-avid-hyper-extraordinarily-crazy Harry Potter fan, I have to disagree with you. I think The Deathly Hallows was a darn good book. It's not my favorite (PoA has that title), but it's a close second. I have to say that there were some seriously good parts, like Snape's memories.
I do agree with you, though, that the epilogue was slightly painful. JK left NO room for imagination whatsoever. Besides, you know, 19 years worth.
And I was kinda disappointed by lack of Draco Malfoy coolness.
And furthermore, what on earth is wrong with Dramione fanfiction? Not that I write it, but still...

Twiglet said...

yes, yes, YES!!!!! Finally someone who sees the last book as i do!!!! Whenever I talked about it with my friends they gave me this incredulous look, as if to say, "what kind of morbid freak are you? why wouldn't you want ginny and harry to get married? or hermione and ron? what's wrong with a happy ending?" I'm sorry, but life doesn't work that way, even in the wizarding world. All of the preceding books had been a learning and growing experience for the characters. A bittersweetness honesty as to the nature of life and sacrifice was ever present. And then the end came, and it was like a Pleasantville* ending, oversimplified and unsatisfying. Why on earth does would anyone want to see these complicated characters we've learned to love, marry their "highschool sweethearts". What is this, the fourties? In the end, the only thing that reconciled me to it a little was the number of other characters that ended up dying in the end, especially Fred Weasley. An epic story like that deserved an epic ending, not one dripping with cheesieness.
*Good movie-watch it!

Anonymous said...

I did not like the last three books in the series. The seventh one dragged on FOREVER!! It was so boring, and I hated the ending. I like endings that leave me wondering, and I can make up stories in my head about the characters when I'm bored. That may be wierd, but that is what I do. . . It's a great way to pass the time in math class. :)

elena said...

Oh my. I've just discussed this review with my best friend, who is also a Harry Potter maniac like myself, and we've finally said the truth out loud to each other...Harry Potter should have died. Gahhh! Words I never thought I'd see in front of me. Yet 'tis true. The ending really truly did suck, and I was hoping for a little more of a macabre theme. It just seemed where the overall story was heading, but then PSYCH! J.K. pulled a fast one. I've come to the conclusion that my love for HP clouded my judgement and therefore I can't put off re-reading it any longer. sigh. I'll have to be as open-minded about HP as I am with everything else...

Anonymous said...

You know, I'm going to disagree with a lot of you guys - except for the fact that it did drag on a bit, I really enjoyed it. Maybe it's just the fangirl talking. Maybe not. And, you know, Harry freakin' deserves that happy ending! His parents are dead, his life sucks, and he's surrounded by goblins and -- oh, wait, this isn't a Potter Puppet Pals video. (Whoever gets that ref is my soulmate). Anyway. His life really wasn't all too great for him. He watched many of those he loved die. (Sirius, Dumbledore, Remus, Tonks, Fred, etc.) I don't like Ginny at all, but hey, if it makes Harry happy, I'm down with it.

I'd give it 4 daggers.

Anonymous said...

i personaly didn't like the harry ptter books but it might be because of the main characters. most of the books that adults say that harry potter fans will like are quite good. i did finish the deathly hallows in one day but even if i had finished later i probaly wouldn't have liked any better
-maxine lane
p.s. i am and advid reader and have read a lot of books you might want to consider, like the maximum ride series by james patterson. bird kids rock!

Anonymous said...

I agree with NOT HARSH ENOUGH. Did anyone notice that Harry Potter got to be "Chosen One" throughout, like, the whole book? Since when is the crybaby a deity? 'Cause if Harry Potter equals Jesus, then Ron must equal Edward Cullen. I also have a question: If Harry and Voldemort's souls were entertwined (Or what was left of Voldemort's, anyways), then why didn't Harry die again as soon as Voldy did? I mean, I thought that was where it was all going. Maybe I'm just being a noob who needs to reread the book or something... And I don't really think that JKR used the Invisibility Cloak enough... It was mostly about the Deathstick. The Invisibility Cloak was the MORAL, right?

Anonymous said...

Everyone who was dissing Harry and his WELL DESERVED happy ending are all LAMES and JERKS!!!! The book was great and so was the ending and if u read it even though u didn't like the other ones or the characters keep ur comments to urself because u have no right to critique!!!

Slick said...

Harry didnt die when voldemort did because when he did the deformed "baby" crying near dumbledore and harry was the one seventh of voldemorts soul. What was he going to do? pick it up and take it back with him? lol. anyway. the books are seriously awesome. definitely agree with everyone saying malfoy didnt live up to his full potential. just turned out to be a sook. but to say harry should of died? how much more tragedy do you guys need? and i think all the characters developed fine excluding malfoy. they just grew up.

Margaret Taylor said...

I agree that the ending had some flaws, but Dobby's role in the book was ... oh, God. Intense.